From Time To Time, Solitude is A Bliss (ENG)
September 01, 2020
"I can't be alone, Ga. I always need someone to be beside me all the time. Event there's no love left between us."
That was what one of my friends said several years ago when she was pouring out about the relationship with her partner at the time. My first reaction was... shocked, actually, but I succeeded to shut my mouth, and listen for her to finish her story. I know, she only needed to tell her story and let it all out, not asking for advice or suggestion.
That was what one of my friends said several years ago when she was pouring out about the relationship with her partner at the time. My first reaction was... shocked, actually, but I succeeded to shut my mouth, and listen for her to finish her story. I know, she only needed to tell her story and let it all out, not asking for advice or suggestion.
The Women who Left the Island
Last week I saw a documentary on DW Documentary Youtube channel titled "Looking For Love on the Faroe Island". The successfully packed the complexity of relationships between Men and Women as well as the disparity in numbers of Men and Women on island located quite far from Denmark's capital - which I think worked out well with really grounded approaches. I found no difficult terminology during the 42 minutes watching it.
The main profession for most Men in Faroe Island is to become Fishermen then sell their catches on the market. Some turned out to be Scientist, Entrepreneurs, etc. But most of those men inherited their family businesses which are still closely related to fishery or other oceanic fields. According to them, the Women there did not think of their profession as cool or edgy or up to date. That's why most of the Women there decided to leave the island after finishing education and speculate their fates in Copenhagen or other major cities in Denmark. Not far from our female compatriots' mentality here in Indonesia.
So, what happened next on the island? The significant amount disparity of Men and Women. What happens with regeneration? Out of nowhere, many Women from the Philippines came to the island - who started the journey looking for jobs, to the point where many of them got married with the Faroe Island natives and procreate. Because of that phenomenon, Philippines' women composed the biggest minority ethnicity in Faroe Island.
Survival or Go Home
One of the women interviewed by the DW Documentary team summarized how she ended up getting married, have kids, got a divorce, and still surviving the life on Faroe Island without any look or voice of remorse along the video.
The woman had 2 children from her marriage. When she found out that her husband was cheating on her, she decided to stand on her feet again - fought for her and her children's rights on her own, without parents' support and minimum support system during that hard times.
When DW Documentary team asked whether it crossed her mind to get remarried and return to her homeland, she answered : "Nope, I don't think about getting married again. I wanted to return to school again so I could find jobs that will give me better income, for my children, and Faroe Island has become my home now."
Survival or Go Home
One of the women interviewed by the DW Documentary team summarized how she ended up getting married, have kids, got a divorce, and still surviving the life on Faroe Island without any look or voice of remorse along the video.
The woman had 2 children from her marriage. When she found out that her husband was cheating on her, she decided to stand on her feet again - fought for her and her children's rights on her own, without parents' support and minimum support system during that hard times.
When DW Documentary team asked whether it crossed her mind to get remarried and return to her homeland, she answered : "Nope, I don't think about getting married again. I wanted to return to school again so I could find jobs that will give me better income, for my children, and Faroe Island has become my home now."
Solitudes and Things that Stop By
I once recommended to my former partner - when we both hit the phase of our boiling points - to take a break. Take a break for a while, for our well-being. Since we're not teenagers anymore who can at any time blow out with all kinds of impulsive decisions. But my suggestion hit a wall because according to my partner that time; "We do this together at full speed or not at all." At the end of the day, I gave up.
Things will go in vain if any relationship does not have the same vision and mission anymore. Because to me, life is not a sprint, but a marathon. It takes quite some time to go through the journeys. If you're tired, take a break to prevent from feeling burnout.
I once recommended to my former partner - when we both hit the phase of our boiling points - to take a break. Take a break for a while, for our well-being. Since we're not teenagers anymore who can at any time blow out with all kinds of impulsive decisions. But my suggestion hit a wall because according to my partner that time; "We do this together at full speed or not at all." At the end of the day, I gave up.
Things will go in vain if any relationship does not have the same vision and mission anymore. Because to me, life is not a sprint, but a marathon. It takes quite some time to go through the journeys. If you're tired, take a break to prevent from feeling burnout.
Yes, when being alone there will be things that stop by. They come with many purposes; some serve as reminders of beautiful days you both once spent together, some actually manifest into contemplative thoughts. Yet to mention the series of "What Ifs?" which usually boiled down to self-blaming or self-sabotaging. We should stop doing these before it's too late to heal and recover.
From Time to Time, Solitude Is A Bliss
How many case examples out there where people broke up or got divorce and bounce back to then heal themselves? So many, right? Those stories happen within different timelines; 1 negative case example could not serve as a benchmark that we must uphold to. We individually have our own timelines, so stop comparing ourselves with other people.
From Time to Time, Solitude Is A Bliss
How many case examples out there where people broke up or got divorce and bounce back to then heal themselves? So many, right? Those stories happen within different timelines; 1 negative case example could not serve as a benchmark that we must uphold to. We individually have our own timelines, so stop comparing ourselves with other people.
Since the end of last year until today, I have been learning a lot about solitude and patience. Yes, I now still live with the only parent I have and 2 younger siblings, but it doesn't mean I never felt being really alone. When I feel like I need to re-charge myself, I will lock myself in my room, play the music louder while drinking my Jägermeister. It's a bliss for me and it's good enough during this COVID-19 gig.
If we can't find some happiness or peace of mind during our own solitude, what makes us think we could get it all while being with other people - who will become our life partner? I'm not convinced at all.
South Jakarta, 29th August 2020
"Hollowed Out" - Belmont
If we can't find some happiness or peace of mind during our own solitude, what makes us think we could get it all while being with other people - who will become our life partner? I'm not convinced at all.
South Jakarta, 29th August 2020
"Hollowed Out" - Belmont
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