FACE TURNED TOWARDS THE STORM (ENG)
September 23, 2020
"Learn to swim in rushing rivers, breaking on the shore. Make your peace with broken streets, your face turned towards the storm."
That's what Mark Hoppus said in the song 6/8 in the California Deluxe album which was released on April 2017. His voice rings inside my head, singing that particular part of lyrics as I was reading Kevin's tweet with a picture of the front page of Kompas daily newspaper today, dated 2nd September 2020.
"Prepare for The Worst, Hope for The Best." then Kompas' Twitter account replied Kevin's tweet on how to read their front page with more details, tweet can be read here.
As I read the tweet, both my hands were trembling - confused of what to say or even think. There were only Mark Hoppus' repeated voice as he sang: "Make your peace with broken streets, your face turned towards the storm." within my head. With everything that has been happening in the past 6 months till today, I am still in the phase of making peace with everything around me. But even if after all this, will we still be able to face other storms?
Reality and Illusion
I am not the type of person who took joy in avoiding God forbiddingly bitter reality; because if I do that, I will only create temporary illusion which would only make me feeling even more lost. Perhaps this is one of my coping mechanisms formed since long ago. If there's a conflict, so be it; face it and fix it to the end with all my capabilities.
But for the sake of Robert Smith's calming voice in the song "Lullaby" honest to God this time I felt like running so far away where there would be no COVID-19. Residing there long and if possible, not ever returning to Jakarta. This time, my energy has been really drained and I don't know when to recharge again.
Illusion is beautiful and pleasing for both the eyes and minds. "Oh this thing is only some global elite's issue," or "There is no such thing as COVID-19! Look at me still healthy and all!" or "What is this thing wearing mask everywhere? So complicated!" are several examples of illusion which recently have been widely spreading more and bread in daily life - until one of their closest kin passed away after diagnosed positive with COVID-19.
Going Through Daily Life Without Making Big Plans
Earlier this afternoon amidst chats about work with @rockadocta I was such an easy spill that we included chats such as: "Gosh, when will this COVID-19 end? I started to run out of ideas to remain sane!" Thankfully, all this time that I know DokYen (my loving nickname for her), she's not the type of person who would make us feel guilty with that we questioned or anything that we felt. With her signature gesture while lifting up a coffee cup while glaring her eyes (an imaginary scene in my head as I read her WhatsApp) she responded like this...
"When you started to lose hope, just think about your mother and younger siblings, see a psychologist, hold on just a little bit more, another day... Keep on doing so."
"Indeed, this is all we can do now... day by day."
Yes, what she and I could do now is only that. Perhaps you who are reading can also do the same thing. Should anyone need counseling help with a psychology or a pyschiatrist -free or paid- please immediately clink on the links of this and this.
I feel that by not adding the burden of thoughts about big plans in our lives this time could indeed save us mentally as also physically. Because usually when we make big plans, our focus and energy would be inevitably be absorbed along; thinking of how we can achieve those targets. and should we fail what are the back up plans, etc.
We're Not on The Same Boat, But We're Definitely in The Same Storm
For those of you who currently still keep a steady job and income, it means that your company is still able to retain you - give the best of your abilities every day. When you started to feel difficulties, communicate to your supervisors. Not to be understood, but to ask for a little more time so we could return back on track and contribute in the best possible way for the company.
Count your blessing, practice your gratitude like a religion. I know it sounds too much and hard to do especially in hard times like this, yet I still do that every single day, sometimes with complaining. But then again, if we can get through this shitstorm, we're going to be unstoppable and undefeated.
South Jakarta, 2nd September 2020
"6/8" - Blink 182
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You can read the original post in Bahasa Indonesia here.
Translation by @deanbenitez.
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