Amygdala Universe

Gue seringkali berpikir, bahwa apa yang seharusnya terjadi, ya pasti akan terjadi juga, tanpa perlu mencoba langkah atau cara yang lain, atau malah tidak memperjuangkan apa yang sebenarnya masih bisa diperjuangkan. Gue selalu mendengar kalimat : "What's meant to be, meant to be, Ga. No matter how hard you try." it's kinda bring the negative vibes to the definition of the sentence itself, you know. It always gives me the creep and even a not-so-good-goosebumps-kinda thing every time I heard that.

Hidup Adalah Pilihan Dengan Berbagai Macam Rintangan Untuk Dapat Mewujudkan Impian

Contoh kecil berdasarkan kisah nyata yang dialami oleh adik perempuan gue, Jilan, adalah begini... Dia S1 cum laude jurusan Kesehatan Masyarakat, punya mimpi besar agar bisa bekerja di sebuah perusahaan yang beroperasinya off shore, mengimplementasikan semua ilmu yang sudah susah payah dia pelajari selama kuliah kelak.

Nyatanya, sudah lebih dari 1 tahun terakhir, dia bekerja di sebuah startup yang core business-nya IT, totally different than she was expecting, right? But she's happy doing it, developed tons of new skill sets, expand her network etc.

Dia tetap mengejar mimpi yang sejak lama dia idamkan, namun dia memilih sebuah kesempatan yang ada di hadapannya, and she embraced it bravely, with no second thought or doubts. Maybe her recent job will not going to be her stepping stone to her dreams, but she always knew she can learn from it and enrich her life.

That's what I call "MEANT TO BE". She's enjoying the process to fulfil or even achieve her dreams, in the present. Maybe she's worrying about the future and such, but SHE LIVE IN THE PRESENT. Giving her best every single day, on the job that she love now.

Adulting Packages

Damn man, I am so fuckin' lonely right now, I'm telling y'all. I rephrase, I feel so fuckin' lonely since 2018 until today. There I type it. I admit it, I acknowledge it, and I embrace it. I don't feel the need to deny it, just put it in here then so many people can read this.

Scared the shit outta me to even type this and don't have any intention to show this off. I just wanna encourage y'all to not deny it, from time to time. Let your guard down from time to time, we're all need to take a break from adulting. And overthinking, and compromising. And being bitter to feel better.

For once in our adulting lives, why don't we try to talk to some strangers without any hidden agenda? No assumptions, no monkey business, Just make a decent and proper conversation. We're adults should learn more from toddlers about this. Then maybe we can find new hopes for ourselves. Just my two cents.

Try More, Life's All About Failure Then Deal With It

I am a very persistent person if I already spot on my targets, dan gue akan kejar hal tersebut sampai dapat, nggak peduli ada rintangan apapun di sekeliling gue, gue pasti bisa lewatin. I always choose the hard way, I don't know why, it's already in my blood since I was born I suppose. Sampai akhirnya gue sadar, itu nggak baik buat gue, karena gue jarang sekali menikmati proses untuk bisa mendapatkan apa yang gue mau.

What meant to be, it is meant to be. But are you really sure about that? If so, how do you know that? Do you give yourself a closure after you've done trying so many ways, in so many times? Buat gue, iya. Kita seharusnya bisa berhenti mencoba, dan mengakui bahwa kita sudah menjalani dan melewati segala proses supaya bisa dapetin apa yang kita mau dan kita butuh. Kalau memang sudah nggak bisa, ya sudah. You gotta pick your own battle, you know.

Meant to be is a process of trying to find the answers for your questions, how you're going to work on your relationship (any kind), how you're going to overcome the challenges or obstacles, not the final outcome.

Final outcome is, you deal with those failures, dwell in sadness for a bit, then get the hell up. Don't kid yourself, this is life. You got rejected, you didn't pass the test, you got brokenhearted, you got cheated on, etc. Deal with it.

This is a bitter and hard to swallow pill for all of us, I suppose. Then again, kalau kita nggak bisa terima segala macam kegagalan yang sudah pernah kita alami, jalani dan lewati, gue nggak tahu bagaimana caranya kita bisa berdamai sama diri kita sendiri.

Don't bother to fix someone else, when you got your hands full already, but you're not aware of it.

"Ya no recuerdo ni el agua que cae del río, de la montaña de sueños que he compartío'. Si canto de duelo no nos morimo', de la pena al pensar en lo que no fuimo'. Ya no recuerdo cómo era, ahora me encuentro de cuerpo entero. Y cuando miro pa' atrás y las luces me ciegan, me muevo lejos de aquí..."

I was stupefied upon hearing Fuel Fandango feat. Juancho Marqués's latest single titled "Nuevo Mundo" which translates to "The New World". Despite of my wobbly non fluent Spanish since taking the course last May, but I have been getting myself used to music with Spanish lyrics, or watch films in Spanish - to better train and accustom myself more.

"Ya no recuerdo ni el agua que cae del río, de la montaña de sueños que he compartío" = I don't even remember the water that falls from the river, from the mountain of dreams that I have shared.

Yes, I have forgotten the shapes of raindrops falling onto the windshield of the online transportation car I took, or how it felt like to ride on the MRT during rush hours to go downtown and meet with my friends. This seemingly endless uncertainty had definitely suffocated my head and heart.

Total Lockdown and the Pile of Things to Pay

Per 14th September, Jakarta's Governor Anies Baswedan finally reinforce total lockdown (PSBB) again. Jakarta residents must return to the early phase of this lockdown - which if my memory served well, was initiated in April. As an employee who has returned to WFH since early August, this is nothing new to me. The challenge remains to thinking more new ideas; what can I do to remain sane and productive. But how about those who are not as lucky as I am? What will happen with business owners at the malls/markets?

Since the reapplication of total lockdown was brought to public, my Twitter and Instagram feeds were filled with so many posts containing restlessness of various business owners. Those who previously took some "breathe" during the lockdown relaxation stage or Transitional Lockdown (PSBB).

They said, that the reduced allowed amount of people to dine in (for restauranteurs or food business owners) have caused them loses. Meanwhile the landlords (either the malls or in commercial buildings) did not apply any relief upon the rent to be paid. According to them, both the regional and central administrations have not set policies about those issues as well.

Survival is the Only Option

We all could not do anything else but to survive. You're hit as you go forward, you're also hit when you go backwards, just like of of Warkop DKI's old movies titles. Everyone races to run the fasted in adapting with the new world, thanks to this COVID-19. Even major businesses like the Boga Group, which most of food products I used to enjoy in various restaurants, must modify their products into frozen food or only cater for take away orders. The taste will change, but this is one of their ways to adapt so that the company could continue to operate; for there are so many of their employees depend lives upon our orders.

Many popular accounts in Twitter or Instagram started to "open their stalls" in providing free promotions for all business owners, especially small and medium ones (UMKM) just to support and "make ways" to find buyers or expand customers.

Some other brands conduct rather similar things, such as Treasury with the campaign titled #BangunHarapan or #BuildHope. Starting from encouraging everyone who remains responsible in their financial lives amid the Pandemic, to the opening their comment section in Instagram accounts for anyone who is running food and beverage business to be promoted.

New World and the Marathon

We cannot run anywhere from this condition, from where we stand right now. The best of this resistance is to defend in the best possible way; with every capability that we got. The year 2020 is truly a marathon event for every citizen of this ever-getting-older world.

The regular rhythm, the cool and sane heads, the biggest of hears, the long breaths, the prayers recited every time, as also the hopes endlessly clipped - are our strengthening stones.

Survive, endure and getting past all of this together. We need to keep sending support and help while we can; nurture and look after. It's not impossible that the vaccine could be completed soon and God provides mercy for everything we have done and wipes away all the bad things happening around us.

As humans, let's try not to forget about being the complete human beings and only depends on miracles alone. Because as the late Rendra said...

Yes, because life itself is a struggle from implementation of words.

***

Btw, elo inget nggak, kalau Steve Lillywhite pernah memproduseri albumnya Iwan Fals dan Noah? Iya, Steve Lillywhite yang juga produser album "The Joshua Tree"-nya U2 itu. Jadi buat elo yang mungkin menaikkan alis elo sedikit pas membaca ada Peterpan dan Ariel di sini, sebaiknya berpikir ulang mengenai judgment elo. One of my ex boyfriend, almost got him to produce his album too few years ago.

When Love And Hate Collides

Sejak kembali dari Jepang di tahun 2010 lalu, gue berusaha setengah mati untuk nggak setiap waktu membanding-bandingkan Negara kelahiran gue dengan Negara manapun. Baik yang gue tinggal lama di sana untuk bekerja atau sekadar liburan lebih dari satu bulan. Dan untuk bisa melakukan ini rasanya sulit banget.

Mulai dari hal-hal yang paling kecil dan terlihat remeh, sampai hal yang besar banget. Sampai-sampai beberapa anggota keluarga gue ngeluarin omongan : "Ngapain sih lo ribet mikirin Negara? Negara saja belum tentu mikirin elo." setiap kali gue mulai ngotot sama argumen gue, bahwa sebenarnya kita semua masih punya waktu untuk memperbaiki sistem yang sudah bobrok di Negara ini sekian lama. It's not going to be easy, it's going to be a long run, lots of sacrifices, pain in the ass but still... It is not an impossible thing to do.

Konsistensi itu memang butuh komitmen dan kesabaran ya, salut gue sama kalian (selebgram atau bukan) yang rutin melakukan ini. Berangkat dari keinginan untuk terus berkomitmen ngisi feed IG inilah, akhirnya gue mulai belajar pakai Canva gratisan (ALL HAIL TO CANVA!) sampai akhirnya mulai rada cakep lah bikin layout-nya (menurut gue ya), kayak di postingan yang ini.

Kenapa Pilih Pop Punk & Post-Hardcore?

Selain genre Hardcore, Punk dan Metal, buat gue sub genre yang paling nyangkut di gue itu Post-Hardcore & Pop Punk. Bisa dibilang A Day To Remember, Thrice, Alexis On Fire, The Used & Blink 182 lah yang bikin gue akhirnya melakukan eksplorasi yang lebih dalam ke sub genre ini.

Mungkin karena secara eksplorasi sound yang uncommon, range vocal yang setengah menyanyi, seperempat "menggonggong" dan sisanya bercerita dengan sangat bisa menggugah hati gue (maklum, deep down inside, gue anaknya lemah lembut banget🤪) jadinya lebih mudah nemu kliknya dengan band-band tersebut.

3 Band Yang Kudu Elo Coba Dengerin Sekarang

Gue sudah pernah posting 3 top favorite songs dari Belmont di sini, mendengarkan discography mereka di Spotify mengingatkan gue akan masa remaja gue. Naik metro mini/kopaja, mendengarkan kaset No Doubt/NOFX melalui walkman yang baterenya rajin gue jemur di genteng, sambil memandangi orang yang lalu lalang dari dalam bis kota, dan memikirkan apa yang sedang mereka pikirkan di dalam kepala mereka. Entah kenapa, dari dulu gue selalu suka melakukan ini setiap kali bepergian.

2. Trophy Eyes (Newcastle - Australia)

Dari awal nemu band ini secara nggak sengaja di Youtube, gue langsung berasa dihipnotis sama suara vokalisnya, John Floreani. Dalam 1 lagu saja, dia bisa mengubah karakternya lebih dari 1 macam. Bukan soal teknik menyanyinya, tapi gimana dia bisa memerankan 2-3 orang yang berbeda di dalam 1 lagu. Laki-laki yang optimis, laki-laki yang putus asa dan laki-laki yang marah namun nggak berdaya. Selain itu, gue selalu suka dengan riff-riff segar yang diciptakan sama Andrew Hallet, dan tentu saja beat drum dan betotan bass yang sumpah mati bikin pingin dansa sambil mikirin masa depan gue mau dibawa ke mana 😂 3 lagu favorit gue bisa dibaca di sini.

3. Tiny Moving Parts (Minnesota - USA)

Dari awal dengar intro-nya "Medicine" (gue mendengar lagu ini pas Youtube random play, dan gue lagi ngerjain deck presentasi gue dengan fokus!) gue langsung tahu kalau itu sound berasal dari Fender Telecaster Thinline, dengan ampli Fender Super Sonic! I know I sounds made this up, but I KNOW MY FAVORITE SOUND FROM FENDER, DUDE! I DON'T KNOW HOW, BUT GOD GAVE ME THIS GIFT SINCE I'M 13/15 Y.O! Sambil ngerjain deck presentasi, gue lamat-lamat mendengarkan lirik yang dinyanyikan, dan saat itu gue tahu, I was in love instantly with this band. Buka spotify mereka sekarang, and dive into their music, I guarantee you'll love them. 3 lagu favorit gue bisa dibaca di sini.

Bikin Rindu Masa Remaja

Akan selalu ada hari dimana kita berharap bisa kembali ke masa remaja kita. Nggak usah bohong deh lo 🤪 ngucap iya dalam hati juga nggak apa-apa kok, ngangguk dikit apalagi. Buat gue mendengarkan 3 band di atas bikin gue, paling nggak bisa walking down to a memory lane for a while, sambil rehat setelah kerja seharian, dan bahkan bisa nemenin gue ngelarin kerjaan gue dari pagi sampai sore.

Karena masih kudu physical distancing dan kemungkinan besar nggak akan ada konser yang bisa digelar dalam waktu dekat, 3 band di atas bisa jadi pilihan buat elo menghabiskan waktu lo slam dancing, light headbanging di kamar pas weekend nanti. Stay safe, healthy and sane peeps!

Then I would return home around 8 in the evening - or at the worst at 10.30 in the evening. So my life was actually revolved around home-office-home. There were times when I would hangout in the regular bar/pub with my friends but couldn't have done them too often because of the distance.

Leaked Roof and Men

Saturday night. Because I don't have a car, still couldn't find online transportation, having difficulties ordering for taxis, I finally could online watch movies in my room. Heavy rain since morning added to the laziness. Until around midnight, the roof above my bedroom leaked; flows of water into my room quickly made walking was difficult with splashes.

Atau pas beberapa minggu lalu, abis dengerin curhatan sahabat-sahabat terdekat soal bagaimana mereka kesulitan mencari penghasilan tambahan dalam kondisi kayak gini, atau bahkan kehilangan mata pencaharian utama mereka, ujug-ujug saja gitu gue ngide bikin Let's #SupportEachOther. Setelah sesi curhat mereka kelar, cuma butuh waktu 1 hari gue merampungkan ide dan eksekusinya seperti apa, proposed ke mereka via japri satu per satu, lalu kalau mereka approved, gue akan naikkin kontennya di minggu yang sama. Fortunately, they were all approved my idea, and I'm going to do it again but with different friends. So if you need to find more reliable creative worker, you should check my instagram continuously.